Thursday May 2, 1991 - Jack
Nancy and I have spent some time with Susan in the last two days and spoken with some of the people from John's group on the phone.
We are happy to find out that we were received better at the meeting then we thought we'd been.
It's been Christian we've been feeling around the house with us since the meeting, as I finally figured out this morning.
He's been staying close to us all day.
In the afternoon while Nancy was preparing dinner, I stepped down the cellar stairs with the trash.
Half way down, I realized something was happening because the stairs were different - they were not our stairs.
I reached the bottom and found myself standing on Zar's ship.
Zar and Christian stood facing me, looking very pleased.
Zar greeted me by smiling and touching me lightly with his hands.
Christian simply smiled.
I greeted them both with a smile, too.
Zar then spoke by telepathy, "We are very glad The Project is going so well with you and with others. Now we have something to ask of you."
I said, " Sure, Zar. What is it?"
"Would you like to accept the role as Emissary for Project Willing?"
I wanted to accept right away, but hesitated.
I was about to ask what the position entails, when Zar said, "You will be coordinating between alien beings and humans on Project matters."
Christian didn't say anything, but he had a proud look on his face, which made me feel honored.
Finally I said, "Of course, I will," then added, "As long as it doesn't take me away from my family for long periods of time."
I could see that Zar and Christian were very pleased. Christian extended his hand with a smile and I shook it.
I walked back up the stairs to the kitchen feeling a little confused.
Nancy looked at me and asked, "What happened?"
I described the whole thing and she couldn't understand the purpose of it, either.
Nancy felt that she should have been included in this decision and insisted we know what I'm agreeing to before I agree.
I couldn't tell her what happened to the trash.
I don't remember having it on the ship and I didn't come back up with it.
I was confused over the title of the role and used two different words for it, Emissary and Ambassador.
After all this, I wasn't sure which one Zar meant, since telepathy can do that to me sometimes.
The description he gave is essentially what I've already been doing so Nancy and I looked both words up in our dictionaries.
We learnt that an ambassador is 'an official representative of the highest rank, accredited by one government to another,' while an emissary is 'a messenger or agent.'
Another dictionary read, 'a private messenger or agent.'
We were still confused, but the word 'private' was interesting.
We reiterated that we shouldn't talk openly about anything that happens involving other people.
We know the extent of our awareness of events involving others has to be a consideration in the planning of events, and should not cause indiscretion.
We were not convinced this was the important meaning of this visit but we couldn't think of anything else.
We determined we needed more information and, being completely aware that Zar hears our every thought and was waiting for us to arrive at some conclusion, Nancy suggested I walk back down the cellar stairs again and ask for it.
She waited in the kitchen for me to come back.
I walked down the stairs, onto Zar's ship, and there stood Zar and Christian.
Zar said simply, "Not ambassador. Emissary."
I went back upstairs.
Nancy and I looked at each other and we both started laughing.
Then I told her what Zar said.
We talked a lot about the need to be discreet.
We do not think we have been indiscreet, but we know there is a reason for them to bring this to us consciously.
In any case, we realize we will accomplish more if we are considerate of others' privacy.
I checked the cellar to see if the trash I carried there was in the barrel, and it was.
We were still confused about it, but decided if there was anything else we needed to know, Zar would tell us.
A little while later, I walked out back towards the shop.
I had my head down in deep thought and was startled to find Zar standing by the door.
He asked, "Well, do you accept?"
I said, "Yes. But I'm still not sure I understand what it's all about."
Zar said, "You don't have to worry. Everything is okay. This has just been a formalization of sorts."